Black and White

Life is full of a ridiculous number of choices.
Choices are generally in one of two categories: black or white.
Most of the time you can place your choice in one category.
But every so often, a decision will astound most.
You won't know where it stands.
Was it wrong?
Was it right?
Was is black?
Or was it really white?
Will I ever know if I did the right thing?
Or will I simply have to trust my instincts?
How long will it be before I can identify this one?
Or am I just expecting something that will never happen?

Bryan College was one of those choices.
I thought God was calling me there.
I thought I was supposed to go.
I thought the Lord desired for me to attend there.
I really did.
But... was I wrong?
Did I discern His will inadequately?
Or was it simply the cause of other people's decisions that seemingly caused me to "fail?"
Or was it neither?
Was it right and wrong?
Was this decision simply... black and white?

I wish I knew.
But I doubt if I will ever understand this past semester.
That won't change the hurt.
It won't change the pain.
It won't make much of a difference right now.

But God knows.
He knows my heart.
He knows I desired to follow His plans for me.
He knows.
And He always will know.
Despite what others say...
God knows.

Thank you, Jesus.